From the first positive pregnancy test, future surrogate mothers and fathers begin to visualize the future and especially the birth of their child.
Obviously, it is normal to project oneself at this unique moment, since the happiness that accompanies the positive pregnancy test is undoubtedly intense, especially for those who have taken a long time to reach this point.
In fact, in general terms, the first weeks of pregnancy are more about being aware of the pregnancy, of the vitamins and drugs that the pregnant woman takes, and it is necessary to support her so that she feels accompanied at each and every moment.
As the pregnancy progresses, the professionals who accompany the family begin to work to be clear about how to proceed in the final phase of the pregnancy and just after the birth.
Generally, these moments are also somewhat stressful because the bureaucratic practices are usually new and unknown to the future parents.
At a time of new things and excitement and nerves, it is a bit overwhelming to have to deal with the bureaucracy.
For this reason, it is always advisable to seek the assistance of lawyers who have experience in the field of surrogacy, specialists who know the steps to follow and can safely guide the parents.
It is useful to be prepared for what will come after the birth some time in advance, which does not mean that you have to invest time and energy in the first weeks when the surrogate is pregnant, but at the moment when the lawyers and the agency point it out.
Having meetings with the attorneys to find out what will be done, when and in what manner is helpful to each and every party. Managing expectations is also important in the face of such an intense moment as the first weeks of life of the baby born through surrogacy.
In this way, the intended parents will travel to their surrogate’s country with the documentation they might need and know in advance what the expected protocol is, as well as the approximate times to obtain the necessary documentation for the return home.
But you have to be ready for the more practical things as well, such as a car seat, baby bottles, and anything else you might need during your stay abroad.
To achieve this, it is obviously possible to go to a shopping mall and buy everything in a couple of free hours, or use the free channels to buy second-hand things which is always and in all circumstances less expensive.
In certain cases, it is also possible to borrow things, but always and in all circumstances it will be necessary to buy diapers!
In other words, throughout the surrogacy process, the closer the birth is, the more concentration, time and organization are required.
At each stage of a surrogacy journey, there are events that sometimes frighten or worry the future parents, since it is very difficult to foresee everything that can happen in such a complex journey.
Since there are many elements that make up the puzzle, there is always the possibility that something unforeseen may occur and that the parents, who have invested so much of themselves, may feel at the mercy of events that they cannot supervise, such as, for example, the fertilization of the embryos, the results of the analyses of the donor and/or the pregnant woman, the data of an ultrasound scan, etc.
In fact, if there is a moment in life in which it is useful and advisable to consider the possibility of seeking the advice of an emotional health professional, the upcoming birth of a child – even more so if it is through surrogacy – is among the first ones.
One of the phases of a surrogacy journey that can produce more anxiety and, at the same time, more happiness is the one prior to the birth of the child, since it is then when the fears and worries about the delivery or the cesarean section come together with the uncertainty and the feeling of helplessness for having to live this so desired and at the same time so stressful event in a foreign country, without the logistic and sensitive support of family and friends.
In addition, the post-birth bureaucracy, even if it complies with the phases previously indicated by the parents’ counsel, always presents challenges of varying relevance that can generate concern in those who have never gone through this situation.
Obviously, the parents’ need to return to the country of residence in a short time may lead them to feel even more stress.
For this reason, although there are always and at all times basic deadlines that are taken as an estimate and example, future parents must take into consideration that there are uncontrollable factors that can cause small delays or inconveniences that cannot be foreseen in advance.
Sometimes this depends on the human factor, i.e., the official at a particular window and how he or she manages communication with the parents.
Only one person travels for the birth of a child.
For each and every one of these reasons, professionals recommend that expectant parents should never travel alone, especially if they are single.
In this way, it is possible to have the help of a trusted person during the first weeks of the child’s life -which are always and in all circumstances the hardest- to take care of the baby and also to carry out small daily tasks such as preparing food, doing the shopping or talking in times of worry.
In many cases it is the pregnant women themselves who, after the birth, help the parents to feel less lonely, but this is not always the case for various reasons. For all these reasons, it is important to be aware of the limits of trust with the pregnant woman so as not to invade her family space.
She may want to spend time with the parents and the newborn or, on the contrary, she may feel the need to be alone and rest quietly.
As on many other occasions, and for the good of all, it is of utmost importance to know how to communicate clearly and with the utmost respect.